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Funny Jokes For Adults

Patient Joke A stutterer walks in to a doctor’s office and says, “Doc-c-c-tor, my s-s-s-stuttering is a real p-p-pain in the n-n-neck, please help.” - The doctor examines him and finally finds the root of the problem: “Well, Mr Denny, the thing is, your pecker is too big and takes up too much blood that would normally go in the brain. We have to operate and take at least a half of it off.” - A month after the operation the stutterer comes back for a check-up and sighs, “Doctor, it really helped my stuttering and that is a relief. But my wife is very unhappy with the situation. Could the amputated bit be sewn back on, please?” - Doctor: “Sorry, but n-n-n-n-no.” Babies Joke A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back
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Kid's Jokes

Boy Joke Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now. Gift Joke My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother’s Day. She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it. Landon became upset: "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?" Teenager Joke My 13-year-old nephew thought his "gangsta" outfit—low-riding pants and exposed boxers—made him look cool. That is, until the day his five-year-old cousin took notice. "Nathaniel," she yelled out in front of everyone. "Your panties are showing." Father Joke All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception. The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate." Military Joke Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving
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Funny Jokes Of The Day

Bar Joke Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar. I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art. He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!” “No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“ Beer Joke If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster. President Joke I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands. They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack. Now it's "Donald! Duck!" Chicken Joke I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold. Mosquito Joke Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep! Astronaut Joke “I want to be an astronaut!” - “I thought they didn’t send monkeys to space anymore?” - “Exactly, so no cha
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